The Lights Are On, But Nobody's Home

Wow...Wakestock...More like Wakesuck.

It started raining.

I could handle that.

Then the mud started taking the piss.

After I got some wellies, I could handle that.

But cancelling the music...Fuck you.

That aside, it was still an amazing time while I was there, and I made TuckerMax look like a lightweight drinker.

I invented ZeroTrace drunk.

The first night there, I knew I'd enjoy myself as a few things like:

"YOU NEED A WILLY ON YOUR FACE!"

...and...

"I HOPE GLOBAL WARMING KILLS ALL THE SAILORS!"

...were shouted across the campsite.

Good stuff.

But yes, after obtaining a pair of wellies, and the rest of my friends arriving, it was party time.

I honestly can't remember a lot of it...I got home and went through my phone to see a lot of videos I can't remember taking...Some will never see the light of day.

I'm just looking forward to a refund now...A great few days for free sounds ace .

Dad's Back, And He's Got Work To Do

For those of you that don't have much of a clue what the Internet is used for, you can chop it up nicely.

* Porn
* Entertainment (Most argue that Entertainment and Porn should be in the same category)

Contradictory to popular belief, the Internet is far from being 'serious business', that is unless you have a E size breast cup, or a penis longer than an elephants trunk.

To my point...

Over three years ago, a person who goes by the name Sakupen was fed up with the shit on the Internet...More importantly, he thought that the entertainment wasn't there anymore.

He set himself a mission, one that will have effected you even if you don't know it.

He created the single most funny flash animation known to man.

This was Dad's Home.

It changed the way flash animation was done forever.

Three years, over two million views, and a lot of people moaning later; a sequel was born.

I give you...

Dad's At Work.

When I watched it the first few times, tears of joy ran from my eyes.

Obituaries And Marriages

The following are dead:

Mad Eye Moody
Hedwig
Snape
Dobby
Lupin
Tonks
Fred

The following are married:

Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley
Ron Weasley and Hermonine Granger
Bill Weasley and Fleur Delacour

Don't read the above if you don't want to read spoilers for the last Harry Potter book.

I love it when I piss little kids off.

Morning Wood The Musical

OK, so this isn't the funniest thing in the world, but I've just woken up so I think it's fucking hilarious.

As I opened my eyes this morning, I go to roll sideways, except I'm sporting a massive erection. So after getting over the fact that I've just nearly bent my dick in two, I roll over to my computer, start my music playing on random, and I Got Erection (by Turbonegro) comes on.

I couldn't make this shit up.

A New Me

I've decided to revert to the arsehole I grew up as...Somewhere I went soft.

Anyway...Being an argumentative shit on the Internet these days seems to be prosperous...I shall promise now though, to only ever speak the truth.

In other words, I need to do some exciting shit in order to have something worth typing.

It's going to be pretty slow for the first few weeks...But that's because I'll be waiting for a potential story to come along.

Hell, by this time next week, I'll have been to Wakestock...A field of teens drinking and listening to loud music for a weekend...If I don't get anything from that, I may aswell pack up my shit and leave the Internet for good.

...but on the other hand, I'm an obnoxious cunt sober...Let's see how a few thousand people handle me drunk.

I'll be sporting the traits of a perfect gentleman.

I'll be at least, but not limited to, the following:

* a racist.
* a womaniser.
* a pretentious arsehole (my personal favourite).
* a drunken fool who has a lack of respect for anything that contradicts with my opinion.

Hell if all goes well, I'll be called a Maddox/TuckerMax clone in no time!