Ah Fuck! ...Wanking Cramp!

Wanking cramp. The scourge of all the Guitar Hero players in the world.

It was the UK release of Guitar Hero 3 yesterday, and obviously I was first in line to get it for my PlayStation 3.

As I did with Guitar Hero 2 and Rocks The 80's, I planned to defeat the game in a day...The main set list at least.

Get home about 12pm, and start playing the game at about 1. I remember opening the box, and looking at the Les Paul in its glory for the first time. After plugging it in and sorting the dongle out...I was ready to rock.

I fire up the game for the first time, and I was greeted with a message on my HDTV.

"No HDMI input detected"

Ah fuck.

I had to manually remove 1080i from the list of possible outputs via my PS3's XMB and I was good to go.

I already knew most of what to expect, but the game doubled what I thought I'd feel.

Being a huge Guitar Hero fan I knew that'd I'd enjoy the game; sure Harmonix aren't in the credits this time around...But it still felt like a GH game, just with a redesigned GUI...Nothing wrong with that.

I jumped straight into Expert, I knew there were a few more songs in the main setlist than GH2...But I beat that in 3 hours, failing only one song once (fuck you to Beast and the Harlot...), and Rocks The 80's in about the same time (if you've played Play With Me, you'll know why).

Now I for a change I don't really want to write up a game review, other than explain the title of this post.

MY FUCKING FINGERS, HANDS AND ARMS ARE IN ENDLESS PAIN!

I've managed to get to the last boss battle (who gives me the dry shaft every fucking time), and I've played around 60 songs in the space of about 8 hours I guess (forgetting any breaks and sleeping time).

I was hoping to avoid pain this time. I pretty much expected it, but I really...REALLY wanted to avoid it this time around.

Needless to say, I didn't.

Another irritation relating directly to GH, is the condition of GHI syndrome.

GHI (Guitar Hero Itch) syndrome plagues all the better players, and some of the lower league players suffer from. That moment where you're intensely concentrating on nailing a passage, even worse when you're close to FC'ing a song...And you have the irresistible urge to claw at your skin, in a pinpoint location on your body (crabs does not classify as GHI).

In a closing statement, I want to say that all higher level players of GH are masochists. Down to the last excruciating pain in our hands...We enjoy it...That's why we go back for more...And more...And even more...In fact, Raining Blood anyone?

Gamer Army

2 posts in one day.

I spoil you.

Anyway, I not long ago signed up to the Gamer Army, an elitest group of gamers that are the few, the pro and more importantly, we're the 1337.

So here's me spreading propaganda.





Sign up here: http://www.gamerarmy.com/

I'm Still Alive...Partially

Just letting you all know that I've had a lot on my plate recently, and that's why there has been a severe lack of me in your lives (physically aswell).

I turned 18 on the 3rd of this month...Good times.

And to be honest, nothing has changed...Sure I can legally buy alcohol now, and I once again I'm of the legal age to smoke, but I don't smoke cigarettes anymore, and I've been drinking since I was about 14...Like I said, nothing has changed.

I've been playing far too much games on my PS3 after my birthday...Spent about £190 on games...Not bad going eh?

Found out just how true the following saying is aswell:

"You always want what you can't have a lot more than anything else."

Argh indeed.

Need something else now to pad out the rest of this post...

Hmm, a joke that has my sense of humour almost nailed to a cross...

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out.

When the Head Nurse became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

Brilliant, I know.

You might hear from my this week, I'm buying Guitar Hero 3 on my PS3 this friday, I may share my experiences with it.