Sunday, September 30, 2007

I'm Cursed, But I'm Happy I'm Not The Only One Suffering

The ability to take out the pieces of the puzzle and think about ones actions in a hypothetical situation.

I hate thinking too much...In fact, it's a combination of the ability to look too deeply into things, mixed with far too much common sense. I can make the most simplest of situations seems more complex than quantum physics.

For example...I've been thinking of legally changing my name for a while now (perhaps to Lain...Bonus points if you know where it's from). Now along with that, I was over thinking about the implications that come with it in no time at all, what I spent a while thinking of though was the mental change that would come with it.

For the simple act of changing my name, I began thinking of spiritual symbolism and the changes that come with that.

This is what happens when I don't smoke weed, hell I've been compared to that guy in Road Trip before (same situation as me, but he smokes weed to slow his thought train down).

But like the title explains, I get a large amount of pleasure knowing that there are others like me (to an extent). So as I start thinking...I try and involve these types of people, that way I can really play with their minds, hell I know what it's like to be in their position, so really screwing them up is like riding a bike...Once you know how...You can ruin people's lives for ever...Or something like that.

On a semi-related topic...I want some name change suggestions... Leave them as a comment to this post, I'm heavily in favour of Lain right now though (keeping my middle and surnames).

Saturday, September 22, 2007

A Homage To Swear/Curse Words

I'm fully aware just how childish this sounds, like an eleven-teen year old that understands the fun they can have when they first learn the word shit or bastard etc...

But these words deserve a certain amount of respect.

I've defused many a difficult situation with a carefully placed "fuck". And even more the the Everest of words...Cunt (more on that later).

So I say it, with a meaningful grin on my face, thank you swear words, thank you very much so.

I'm going to make a special mention now to what is deemed by many as, 'The word worse than all others'.


Isn't is such a beautifully harsh word? You know that when you hear that one single word, the conversation is over, pack up your shit and go as you've got a ride to catch on the cunt express. The word can be used and adapted to a multitude of situations, and more importantly, like most other swear words, they can be an addition to another set of words (bonus points if the original word(s) belongs to the swear word family).

For example, you could call someone a 'shit'. It's a modest word, it will change the tone of any situation, and all eyes will be on you...But it is almost certain that people will be disgusted.

But that can be avoided, say for example you not only said the word 'shit', but followed it with a '...munching thunder cunt'.

See that, three extra words, and the whole situation has changed. The phrase 'shit munching thunder cunt' has transformed that disgust, to a certain amount of admiration to say the least.

That phrase alone has gotten me a girl's number at least six times.

So experiment, expect the occasional downfall, but most of all, pay respect to these words. Say it, and say it loudly...

I fucking love swearing!

Thursday, September 06, 2007

A Game That Should Exist

You may know that I moderate the gaming forum "Games People Play" over at, and if you know that, then you'll know I eat, breath and sleep video games.

In another light, someone said that PurePwnage is simply a documentary based on my life.

Anyway, I could go on about myself all day, and to be honest, I rather would...But apparently the sun doesn't shine out of my arse, and I'm not the centre of the universe (blasphemous bastards, the lot of you).

Well that was a brief introductory to explain that I've been around the block in terms of video games, and therefore I'm an opinionated bastard, with an opinion that stands for something.

Now, I've been throwing movies onto my fancy pants new PlayStation 3 for the past week (it's lovely, and all you 360 fanboys can go catch a bus. With your faces.); one of these movies was Equilibrium.

Now you may be thinking, "What the fuck is that?" and/or, "By the sound of things, you watch some serious shit."...If you think either of these things, then I suggest you go to your medicine cabinet, consume the entire contents of said cabinet, and stick a plastic bag over your head, taking deep, heavy breathes as you slowly rid the planet of your dithering existence.

Equilibrium is set following an apocalyptic third world war, the strict government of the dystopian city-state Libria has eliminated war by suppressing all human emotion. In the monochromatic and sedated society, artifacts from the old world (works of art and music that may evoke some emotion) are destroyed and the population is required to take sedatives. Grammaton Cleric First Class John Preston, a man trained to locate and arrest those guilty of feeling emotions, finds himself abandoning the drug and experiencing outlawed feelings. As he struggles to conceal his feelings from his superiors, colleagues, and family, Preston finds himself drawn into a sinister world of double-crossings and lies, and becomes an unwitting pawn in a sophisticated plot which ultimately changes the repressed society forever.

But enough of quoting Wikipedia...Go and rent the film, and form your own outlook on it, you drones of human existence.

Watched it yet? Good.

Now you see a lot of games that can cure the average frat boys virtual bloodlust these days...But I'm far from falling into that stereotype, hell, I'd probably consider myself to be bouncing along the other end of the scale.

And in turn, you'll see a lot of 'fun and happy' games including bright colours, and the unrealistic idea of a happy ending.

So you have several categories covered...But what about the games for malevolant bastards like me, who get erections at the thought of putting infants into an oversized blender (virtually and hypothetically of course).

Now you maybe thinking back to the film, sure, not a lot of blood...But hold on a minute, there were quite a few deaths.

Here's some trivia for you, The character John Preston is recorded as obtaining the most on screen kills ever. More than the likes of Rambo, James Bond and Blade.

Now for the number buffs, the recorded number is 118 kills...Which I could obtain after about 2-3 hours playing DoDS, but the main difference, and a pretty damn good reason to make the game is this.

Gun Kata.

The way of the gun.

It's efficient, likely to keep you alive in improbable situations, allows you to cause maximum potential damage in any given situation...And it looks fucking awesome.

Also, with today's fancy pants HD graphics, and realistic physics...It's a possible trophy winning celebration of mass killings with added style.

I'd ask your opinions on this one, but I know that I'm right.