Saturday, November 24, 2007

Ah Fuck! ...Wanking Cramp!

Wanking cramp. The scourge of all the Guitar Hero players in the world.

It was the UK release of Guitar Hero 3 yesterday, and obviously I was first in line to get it for my PlayStation 3.

As I did with Guitar Hero 2 and Rocks The 80's, I planned to defeat the game in a day...The main set list at least.

Get home about 12pm, and start playing the game at about 1. I remember opening the box, and looking at the Les Paul in its glory for the first time. After plugging it in and sorting the dongle out...I was ready to rock.

I fire up the game for the first time, and I was greeted with a message on my HDTV.

"No HDMI input detected"

Ah fuck.

I had to manually remove 1080i from the list of possible outputs via my PS3's XMB and I was good to go.

I already knew most of what to expect, but the game doubled what I thought I'd feel.

Being a huge Guitar Hero fan I knew that'd I'd enjoy the game; sure Harmonix aren't in the credits this time around...But it still felt like a GH game, just with a redesigned GUI...Nothing wrong with that.

I jumped straight into Expert, I knew there were a few more songs in the main setlist than GH2...But I beat that in 3 hours, failing only one song once (fuck you to Beast and the Harlot...), and Rocks The 80's in about the same time (if you've played Play With Me, you'll know why).

Now I for a change I don't really want to write up a game review, other than explain the title of this post.


I've managed to get to the last boss battle (who gives me the dry shaft every fucking time), and I've played around 60 songs in the space of about 8 hours I guess (forgetting any breaks and sleeping time).

I was hoping to avoid pain this time. I pretty much expected it, but I really...REALLY wanted to avoid it this time around.

Needless to say, I didn't.

Another irritation relating directly to GH, is the condition of GHI syndrome.

GHI (Guitar Hero Itch) syndrome plagues all the better players, and some of the lower league players suffer from. That moment where you're intensely concentrating on nailing a passage, even worse when you're close to FC'ing a song...And you have the irresistible urge to claw at your skin, in a pinpoint location on your body (crabs does not classify as GHI).

In a closing statement, I want to say that all higher level players of GH are masochists. Down to the last excruciating pain in our hands...We enjoy it...That's why we go back for more...And more...And even more...In fact, Raining Blood anyone?

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